I saw you today… for the first time in a year… I like to tell myself I’ve moved on, found someone else who makes me happy. But it’s times like that, where the memories come flooding back, where I go completely numb and can’t feel anything at all. I want to blame myself for it, after all you were the one who made me think it was all my fault, but thinking it all through it was only ever your fault. Fuck you, I hate you to your very core. You wasted an entire fucking year of my life only to walk out of it in a day and told me in essence you wouldn’t care if I was dead the next day. That part of my soul, my being, that I associated with you took up so much that I can barely feel anything at all anymore. The cuts don’t help, so why do I cut? The drugs don’t help, so why do I smoke? The alcohol doesn’t help, so why do I drink? It’s all to forget you, you stupid, stuck-up, pretentious son of a bitch. It’s to try and fill the void that you left because I sure as hell can’t fill it with love anymore. I’m too scared to love again. I’m too scared to be left again. I don’t want to hurt any more than I’m hurting now… and yet you’ll keep that smile on your face, oblivious to the life you ruined. I loved you, and I made the mistake of thinking that I was able to be loved back. I’ll never make that mistake again. Thanks for helping me realize that, you piece of shit. It’s by far the only good thing you ever did.